I’m Not Able To Visualise

I’ve been a bit frustrated recently. I’ve had so many ideas buzzing round in my head, but just not able to get my thoughts into a coherent shape. I think I’m trying too hard. I need to focus more on my own experience, rather than regurgitating titbits from other people. At least, that’s how it feels today. So here’s something I’ve discovered about myself this week …

Our daughter sent us a thing from twitter

The question was … if you were to visualise an apple, would you see it clearly like number 1 above, or not at all like number 5, or somewhere in between ?

My wife immediately said she could see it clearly with detail. I said – ‘What, like a photo ?’ – ‘Yes’ she said
Me: But I don’t ‘see’ anything. I can imagine what an apple looks like, but I can’t see it! So can you see other things as well ?
Her: Yes.
Me: Wow! That’s amazing.

I suppose I might be a 4, but definitely not a 1, a 2, or a 3.

Weirdly, in the 40 years we have been together, this has never come up.

So I then asked her about hearing things.
Me: Can you hear people’s voices in your head ?
Her: Oh yes.
Me: What, like hearing them speak in their own voice ?
Her: Yes.
Me: Wow ! That’s also amazing.

I think I’m a bit more able to do that, but it seems not as clearly as my wife.

b   .What I can hear – (it’s there all the time, but sometimes I’m not aware of it) – is tinitus, more in my left ear than my right.
But that’s different, and annoying rather than cool.

Now my memory is shocking. Some of it may be age related, but I’ve never been good at remembering details from my past. My childhood is an empty page, mostly. If I want to know something about my childhood, I have to ask my sisters.

Is that related ? The condition of not being able to visualise is called Aphantasia. Is it related to the ability to hold memories ?

It’s so interesting how we’re all different …

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