death – Five Short Words

This is a companion poem to the Holy Saturday Poem that I posted a while ago.

The new, companion poem is partly inspired by a TV programme called The Pitt. (Spoiler Alert).

It’s set in the emergency ward of a hospital in Pittsburgh. This particular scene concerns an elderly man who is dying. His daughter is distraught and cannot let go, and keeps insisting that the doctors do more to save him, including intrusive procedures that simply keep him alive.

In the end, the siblings accept that they need to let their father go. Doctor Robbie, (played brilliantly by Noah Wylie) tells about four things that another wise doctor taught him. Four things that they could say to their father. I love you; thankyou; I forgive you; please forgive me.

These words unlock memories and emotions that allow them to be able to say goodbye.

In my prayer time today, I was reflecting on our lives now. In retirement, the pressure of work is no longer there. It’s not exactly ‘an empty day’ as in the Holy Saturday poem, but this is a different season of life. There’s a looking back element, as well as reflecting on the future. But in the end, it’s about living in the here and now.

A quieter time, with more space to simply ‘be.’
More space to listen.
More space to see the presence of Christ.
And God willing, to be the presence of Christ in some small way.

Here are the two poems.

Holy Saturday

Today is an empty day.
Yesterday was full
of waiting; for a trial to end;
a judgement to be given.

Following in his footsteps,
but only so far
and no further.

Behind the corner of a building,
I peer round
and draw back.
Fearful of being seen

Later I am told.

Today is an empty day.
Tomorrow will be full
of something
I cannot quite name.

The questions almost
shroud the wonder.
But in the end,

there is a room where we meet.
No more hiding
from myself

And he is there.

Holy Wednesday

Today is a quiet day.
Yesterday was full
of working; for an ending;
a judgement to be given.

Following in his footsteps
as far as I could,
and further if you showed me

It was enough to be like the teacher.
Listening
to the voice.
Seeing and being seen.

Shepherding the fold

Today is a quiet day.
Tomorrow will be full
of something
I cannot quite name.

Will the questions
still shroud the wonder
in the end ?

There is a place where we will meet.
No more hiding;
face to face

And he is there

Black Muddy River – Grateful Dead

This is the best version I could find – the original album version. I was looking for a live version, but this is pretty hard to beat. It’s a Jerry Garcia and Bob Hunter song – Bob Hunter wrote the lyrics to Black Muddy River when Jerry was in a diabetic coma in 1986. It was the second to last song that the Grateful dead played at the concert on 9th July 1995, just a month before Jerry Garcia died. If you listen closely to this song from their last show at Soldier Field Jerry actually says “the LAST muddy river” in one of the verses. He emphasizes the word very clearly so there is no doubt that it was not an accident.

The song that closes the 1995 concer is another Bob Hunter lyric, from much earlier – Box of Rain. Hunter wrote the song with bassist Phil Lesh, at a time when Lesh’s father was dying.

“Lesh wanted a song to sing to his dying father and had composed a piece complete with every vocal nuance but the words. If ever a lyric ‘wrote itself,’ this did – as fast as the pen would pull.”Lesh practiced the song driving to the nursing home where his father lay with terminal cancer.

The river picture in ‘Black Muddy River’ is a very ancient metaphor for death, and here in the lyric ‘I don’t care how deep or wide, if you’ve got another side,’ the hope is held out that this life is not the end.

Even more than that … the words can speak not only of the aloneness that we face when dealing with suffering, but also of the hope that we will get through the trials that we are currently facing.

When the last rose of summer pricks my finger

And the hot sun chills me to the bone
When I can’t hear the song for the singer
And I can’t tell my pillow from a stone

I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own
I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own

When the last bolt of sunshine hits the mountain
And the stars start to splatter in the sky
When the moon splits the southwest horizon
With the scream of an eagle on the fly

I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And listen to the ripples as they moan
I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own

Black muddy river
Roll on forever
I don’t care how deep or wide
If you got another side
Roll muddy river, roll muddy river
Black muddy river roll

When it seems like the night will last forever
And there’s nothing left to do but count the years
When the strings of my heart start to sever
And stones fall from my eyes instead of tears

I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And dream me a dream of my own
I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own
And sing me a song of my own

Tag: death

Today Is A Quiet Day

Song for Today #7